I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
