you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
