i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
