She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
