She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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