There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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