The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
