I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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