It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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