You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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