sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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