I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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