I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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