Screwed.edu
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
