I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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