After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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