Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
