Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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