Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
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