I wish I only lived at night.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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