she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize