Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So vagazzling was a success
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
