Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
