I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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