Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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