Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i think my tv is drunk
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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