How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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