considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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