Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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