Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
