did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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