I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
