Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Randomize
