Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
