i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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