we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
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