ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
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So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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