ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
