My girlfriend figured out who you are.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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