So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
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Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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