Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
