we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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