I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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