i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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