so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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