who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i came on her dog
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she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
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i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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