She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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