Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
