I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
