i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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