I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
