AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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