just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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