Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
