the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
