If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
