my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Randomize