i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Help. Why am I so naked?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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