Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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