I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
