"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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